1. |
Prelude
00:12
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2. |
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Lets be honest, I'm dishonest, but more modest than most.
This will be a lot to digest, but I promise to keep everyone engrossed
I'm a skeptic, I'm a cynic, I'm a narcissistic know-it-all asshole.
I got a lot of flavors, got a lot of layers, I'm complicated like a casserole.
And I mix it up never and I'm not very clever and
every single song is chord progression deja vu
and I mix it up never and I'm not very clever,
this is the debut of absolutely nothing new.
I lie like a kaleidoscope, tell the truth like a microscope,
switch rhythms all the time like I'm playin' hopscotch while I'm skippin' rope
this is re-punk, the old stuff re-thunk, adjunct and to celebrate the newly defunct
we'll smash glasses and bottles of booze against the sterns of the ships that should have so long ago sunk
feels like fighting the current, like racing up wrong way escalators
my old favorite bands now belong with mustached museum currators
they've went the way of jazz which was once believe it or not once rebellious
it'll happen again so remember to push the envelope past this.
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3. |
The Carpal Tunnel Song
02:12
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This is the sort of song you'd expect from someone else
Or maybe I'd still write it just not narrate as myself.
Insincere lyrics from an insincere guy
I could make my life better but I don't think I'll try.
I never thought I'd write a song like this
I never thought I'd be too pissed
I used to be an optimist,
but now I'm quite the opposite.
I'm the only thing worse than a bitter old man,
I'm the guy who’s life didn't ever go as planned.
I used to be invincible, but now I'm fuckin' miserable
play with my hair in the shower wall,
sit down to bathe 'cause I'm too tall.
I really really really hope I don't fall.
And break my hip.
I gave up on my pre-graduation goals,
it would be for the best, the death of my soul.
I put myself here now I'm Nimrod's The Grouch
You can find me at work or spilling beer on my couch.
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4. |
Brain Leak
03:25
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La-di-da.
I've got an open mind, it's overflowing all the time
and spilling nonsense all over the floor
it's nothing but a mess, it's inarticulate at best
most would probably say I'm a bore.
I got a way with words, I hid them under the baseboards
and no one ever hears from them again
I swept them all away, so you'd never have to hear me say
those choppy fragments of sentences
la-di-da.
It's a wonder I even have friends when every conversation is just make-pretend
as deep as small talk ever gets.
My life is just a joke of sorts when everything is a play on words
it's clever, yea, but to what end
I'm 20 years young, I should be out and having fun
of the unsophisticated kind of sort
not contemplating my mortality or messing with philosophy
what happened to playing games and doing chores?
La-di-da.
They ripped out my heart, they sucked out my brain
and ever since then I've never been the same
my childhood memories are blurry as can be
like the television I used to watch TMNT
I've been reduced to this, a mental case linguist
longing for my past life's simplicity
ignorance is bliss, take back enlightenment
I much prefer my nine year old naivety.
I've got an open mind. It's overflowing all the time.
I've got a lot of something, worth absolutely nothing. A yard sale on Saturday afternoon.
I've got an open mind.
Yea, I've got a lot of something, worth absolutely nothing.
A yard sale on Saturday afternoon.
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5. |
So Ca$h
02:39
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My lack of New Year's Resolution proves I'm a failure at revolution.
And the marks on this page say I'm void of a solution.
I need a break from this place, some time to escape, add another year to my age and expect a little change.
Everyone has faults its just a matter of taste
but there's so much potential here all gone to waste.
If I'd apply myself I'd be better off, but life’s so much easier when I just sit around and scoff.
I need a vacation, a break from civilization,
a dose of elation or perpetual sedation
this daily grind has done a number on my mind
it's no surprise that I've become so asinine.
Oh, how I'd love to overdose on apathy
or fill my brain with a little too much lethargy,
it's getting oh-so hard to maintain consciousness
with my brain on a permanent hiatus.
Everyone has faults its just a matter of taste,
but there's so much potential here all gone to waste
if I'd apply myself I'd be better off but it's so much easier to sit around and
Life’s so much easier when I just sit around and scoff
when I just sit at home and jack off.
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6. |
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Because I could not stop for Death he kindly stopped for me
as I whistled, hands in pockets, feeling the pavement beneath my feet
the door creaked open I got in and I slid into the seat.
He turned a knob, the music went up, his engine roared all the way down the street.
I tried to tell him where I wanted to be, since he'd never bothered to ask
he couldn't hear me the sounds were too loud, but eventually we stopped for gas
he asked me for some money and he brought me back a couple of bottles of beer
I took a sip and I looked around and I said to him:
I could just walk from here.
He insisted I finish the drive and besides by now we were back on track
I took one last drink and I threw it with the other beer bottles in the floorboard in the back
he pushed a button on the dash and the song started to change
he reclined his seat put his hands behind his head and he smirked as he said that I should take the reigns
I wish now that I would have tried the tuck-and-roll, instead I grabbed the wheel with my head full of beer I wanted to steer, I wanted to take control
like a kid in a car I just couldn't get settled and he smiled all the while as he put the peddle to the metal
as smoke came out from under the hood this is when I think that I finally understood
that because I would not stop for death he had to stop for me.
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7. |
Me and Mephistopheles
01:40
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Me and Mephistopheles, coffee for the caffiene fix.
Caffeine free I'm on hour three, we're old dogs doing old tricks
philoso-fucking up our lives, but taking our mistakes in stride
everyday we draw new moral lines so we can cross them
one more time!
I act before I think and then I think just to find a way to justify the fact that I
Me and Mephistopheles
show up on the motherfucking scene!
He stands on my shoulders and he sweeps to keep my concious clean
he whispers words in my ear, I fall for his shtick far too often
my puppeteer is my puppet here
I'd show you but the strings get knotted
Mephistopheles takes me by the wrist
no, I know Mephisto doesn't exist
but his horns and his hooves make him a great scape goat
it's like democracy, but it's only one vote.
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8. |
Car Crash Song
01:51
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Me and my friends went out to a bar
piled into my roommate's car
me and him and our best friends
this is where our story ends.
We died in a crash
hubcaps flying
people dying
mothers crying for their babies
we died in a crash.
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9. |
Nothing Comes Naturally
02:21
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I came from nothing, so nothing comes naturally
if I applied to something then my special skills specifically
Somethings the one thing I wont do.
Anythings one thing I can't do.
So I make lists of to-do
so that I know that I won't do
whatever it is that I desperately want to
We do to-do to do what stress
Or maybe it's convenience
but by its better name it's cowardice
We do to-do what our cowardice says we must
I came to something on the internet today
about the newly unhuddled masses
all wasting their lives away
with all of this at my fingertips
if it ain't a waste I don't know what is.
We won't sell out we will buy in
when they tell us our lives would be better if ________ would happen
whether it's working less or owning more
there’s a working stiff for each corporate whore
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10. |
Matters of Fact
02:30
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As a matter of fact, the facts don't matter
we’re all just matter and the fact is that we don't matter
at all.
There's a formula
it binds us together
and just to warn ya it's not a pretty picture it goes
life then death
puberty then sex
babies and kids and maybe some SIDS,
taxes and bills and pills and Meth
a dirty jail cell or your personal Hell
and if you’re lucky then you'll make it out dead.
The meaning of life is just a contradiction
if life had meaning then I wouldn't be wishin' for an exit
get me out of here.
There's a formula
it binds us together
and just to warn ya it's not a pretty picture it goes
life then death
walk the line, pass the test
get paid and laid and dig your own grave
till your upset, in debt and burnt out
and if you're lucky then you'll make it out dead.
I've come to a conclusion, it's all just an illusion
elaborate indeed, but I wish that you could see.
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11. |
Where'd We Go Wrong?
01:32
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We took a wrong turn somewhere along the way
and lost the momentum that we had back in the day
stopped in our tracks constantly looking back
our plan was laid out in front of us, now it's what we lack.
We turned out a bunch of burnouts
jaded, berated, sold for no good amount.
The potential we had is nowhere to be found
never realized the gravity of the situation
ended up on the ground.
Dried out our insides till there was nothing left.
We lack the motivation to get out of this mess
traded our faith for a new kind of vision
we see the world through a filter of neurosis and cynicism.
What was once a clear future is now a bug stained windshield
splattered with a lifetime of shattered dreams and promises repealed
where did we go wrong?
Somehow I knew it all along
that we'd end up singing this song
turn our problems into a song
make money of kids singing our song
maybe make our lives a little better
with a song.
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